arrgh, not again

It SUCKS when things hurt.

It sucks especially when you're training for a marathon, and last time you trained for a marathon, things hurting was the beginning of the end of that training.

I was slightly dumb. I ran minus one calf sleeve. The next day, I went to what I thought was a strength training class, which turned out to be 15% strength training, 85% jump/step/clap crap, which was not what I should have been doing two days after doing a long run minus a calf sleeve. The next day, I ran, even though I was hurting a little.

Now I hurt. My good shin hurts. It hurts when I walk, although it's not nearly nearly nearly at the level of pain that I was at before. I'm skipping the long run that I was supposed to do this past weekend but didn't because of the 5k but was going to do tomorrow. I hate taking such a crucial run out of the plan, but it's better to do that and be able to run 26.2 healthy but slightly undertrained, than to force it and make everything worse. I know this. Plus, if it comes down to it, I can do a 2 week taper instead of a 3 week taper.

My plan is to not run this week. At all. It's already driving me nuts because it's perfect running weather. I will bike, I will swim, I will not run. If I feel better, I will do the Little Miami Half on Sunday. I will do it at easy training run pace, not at gunning for a PR pace. If I feel good afterwards, I will continue somewhat as planned and do my 17-18 mile run the weekend after, my 20 the next weekend, and then the two week taper. Those long runs will be as flat as I can get them to be, short of running on an actual pancake. If I do not feel good afterwards, I will......scream and cry and throw things.

I realized today that this training has been mentally taxing, I think because the fear of injury is so real and looming around every corner. I still enjoy running, I just can't wait to get the marathon done so that goal is met. The most stressful part is the fear that I won't meet it. I think next time around, marathon training will be more enjoyable, since I'll be armed with the knowledge that I can indeed run that distance without joints and bones and muscles staging a revolt. <---I can. For real.

In the meantime....my shin needs some good vibes. PLEASE.